I’m not crying because I’m on Zoloft.
This is our first Christmas since Trey died. It’s rough, y’all. Really rough. I love the holidays, though, and am looking forward to Christmas.
But that stocking. Trey’s obnoxious gold tasseled Christmas stocking.
The weekend after Thanksgiving, I pulled out our boxes and boxes of holiday decorations and went to work Christmas-ing our house. I was appropriately jolly, until it came time to hang the stockings.
What do I do with his? Do I hang it, and then fill it with gifts for the whole family, in memory of him? Do I hang it in his honor and leave it unfilled? I thought those options might bring more sadness to the day, so I elected to leave it in the box.
I struggle with whether this is the right decision. I feel like we need to include Trey in our holiday somehow, but I don’t want an empty plate at the table and I don’t want an empty stocking over the mantel.
The good news is that we have LOTS of stockings above our mantel! Everyone who celebrates the holiday with us gets a stocking and this year our home will be filled as my parents and uncle are coming. Of course we have a stocking for the pets as well. We therefore have a whole row of stockings and our life is full of love.
But that one, it’s gone.
I just don’t know what to do about it.