We held the memorial reception for Trey this weekend. I deliberated carefully on what I would say. I wound up unable to say anything at all.

Trey didn’t believe in obstacles. He believed in the power of every person to better themselves, to achieve success according to whatever standards by which they measure it. He believed everyone could be happy. Time after time, he would meet someone who was unsatisfied with their life and feeling unable to change their situation. Sometimes the person had made mistakes in the past, or survived a trauma, or was dealing with physical or emotional factors that they felt were trapping them. Trey’s response was always the same: “How are you going to use that to your advantage?”

He didn’t see flaws – he saw beauty. Every scar, every piece of baggage, every hidden pain – he saw them as signs of strength and sources of power. He believed in wabi-sabi, the perfection of imperfection.

Trey saw potential in everyone. Within ten minutes of meeting a person, he would have outlined a life plan for them. If you wanted to live outside of society and join the circus, he would give you the steps to own your own circus.

As people share their memories of Trey with me, themes repeat:

-Trey encouraged and coached me to achieve what I never thought I could.

-I felt judged/outcast by a lot of people, but Trey always accepted me.

-Trey made me laugh.

I believe he would be pleased with this legacy.

I never stopped seeing him as that fifteen year old boy with long bangs and purple shoes, acting tough. He was my universe.

So many people have offered support to me and to my family, for which I am humbled and grateful. This is harder than I could have imagined. We are taking it one day at a time, sometimes one minute, one breath.

Thank you to all for the support, well wishes and for the memories.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s